a crush or love or just a temporary replacement?

heyya blog! long time no see kan kan.. well its been a longgggg time since ive written a story.. haha now only got mood to do so... its about love of course... never missed love in my life.. and boys also. haha. its about someone that i love with all my heart. it was actly. he is someone, dont want to mention here cuz someone will vommit soon. anyways, he gone to somewhere which is far far far far awayyy from malaysia.. its somewhere in middle east. and of course, i ws half-dying to let him go.. its too painful. too painful until i got no tears to cry for.. never feel like this before. see im okay outside, but my heart, only GOD knows it.  but within the sadness, there is someone, who's quite close to me. actly, very close.. we re in the same case. but a bit different, the dif is, my ex still love s me but his ex doesnt love him cuz i know his ex very well... i started to fall for him. instantly! but i thought it was just a crush... well for me  when it is a crush, i dont care if he date someone else but this time i do really care! i was jealous when i found out he is seeing someone else now... i thought i could replace my ex... but he seemed doesnt like me. like i do. yah, it hurts but not really hurts cuz he still cares bout me. but im worried, what if , after this, he wont bothered me anymore??? what if, i cant tease him anymore ?? iam worried cuz i feel  so close to him! oh... i dont wanna lose him. really. n to him, if he reads this, please understand that i need u.. about my ex whom is somewhere in the middle east..... god knows how much i love u, but i have to accept the truth that we re not meant to be together, but yah i still believe what u always told me several times, we will meet someday kan? hopefully... n i hope when i meet him someday, he was made for me eversince..